Valuable quotes

"No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow." ~~

"The minute you start talking about what you're going to do if you lose, you've already lost." ~~

Cree Prophecy - "When all the trees have been cut down, when all the animals have been hunted, when all the waters are polluted, when all the air is unsafe to breathe, only then will you discover you cannot eat money." ~~

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

What if someone you know is living a lie?

Maat's Feather
Represents truth, justice, morality and balance.

How important is honesty? Where do we draw the line between 'little white lies' & fraudulence? And why should we differentiate between lying in cyberspace, on a message board, the back of a book or record album or to someones face? Does honesty change simply because it can't be challenged by family & friends? Is lying in these venues alright? And does it make the liar feel loved when they add new friendships by doing so? Because they aren't friends they've made. They are friends of the person they've created with their lies; a fictitious character.

This all recently bubbled to the surface for me when I discovered a very close friend of mine had been living an enormous 'other-life'. She was so proud of herself & warmed by the fact that so many people have embraced her into their fold. As I read her profile online, I would never have recognized the person I grew up with there as my friend of some 40 years. I have known her since the age of 3.
It was at that time that I began to worry they may want to meet with her. What then? She couldn't present the person they'd befriended.

She had lied about how much education she'd had, where she went to school; she lied about her parents & how she was treated by them growing up. She lied about musical talent; she is able to play an instrument; to hear her tell it in her profile, she practically has specialized brain modules to bring her on par with Beethoven. She totally rewrote her own history.

But I think the most disturbing thing in all of this is that she is a person who will tell you that the number one important thing in her life is honesty! She is adamant in this. Nothing holds more importance to her than people being honest with her! And she will tell you that she herself is honest to a fault!

I spoke with her about honesty a few months back & how people will now skirt the issue of honesty & lie. And to what degree should we hold these things paramount?
We expect others to be forthcoming & honest with us, yet we can't afford them that same privilege?
This new thing; pathological dishonesty, "Convenient Dis-remembering" to create the person we wish to be instead of changing the person we are to reflect that person. Or just basically accept who we are, foibles & all. Unless you're an axe murderer or a criminal, is that so bad? I told her that the test came when we could look at our reflection in the mirror & say to that person that we were not liars, not frauds, but honest people who could be trusted. She assured me that above all else she could do that!

I wonder if I should tell her that she's lying about that too?

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