Bailey

~ Bailey born October 11, 1998 Passed away Wednesday July 20, 2011 ~

I was going to begin this last night, but between the pain I was feeling and the loss of what I wanted to title it, I am beginning it a day late.

It's a funny thing how we always look for just the right title or banner when we want to post something new. Something of special importance. Yet, the most important thing of this post is Bailey, so that is simply what I've chosen to call this. It is fitting and I'm sure he would approve.

We acquired Bailey from a lady by the name of Nancy. She was a rescuer who would go to the local shelters every day and look at the times remaining on the animals cages. With the aid of her husband, she built a small barn & run for her rescued kitties and at her own expense, looked after them and tried to find homes for them. She did this with a lot of success as well.
We were looking for a play companion for our Jakey at home so went to see Nancy and brought Bailey home. Ironically, Jakey just passed away a few months back - Feb. 12, 2011. A double loss which is leaving me more than a little bit dazed.

Bailey was a unique puss. Small and determined, hard on walls and furniture and oh yes, on Jakey at times too. Due to his diminutive stature, I think he felt he had something to prove, and he picked the biggest boy in the house to make that point. A Napoleon Complex of sorts. It caused me a lot of concern over the years we had him, but if I could trade any of this sadness right now to get him back, ornery and all, I would do that in a heartbeat.

We knew something was amiss a couple of months ago when we found a mess on the carpet in the dining room. Since we have three other cats in the house, Trey, Darius and Milo, the last kitty we thought could have ever caused this mess though, was Bailey. Bailey was the fastidious one. Bailey was the one who would go back and make sure everyone else's stuff was covered up in the litter box. His nickname...Mr. Clean.

But we couldn't imagine the others doing this either, so after a lot of trial and error, we did finally face the fact that it was indeed Bailey. And by this time he had gotten so much worse.

We took him to our vet yesterday and learned that he had also lost a pound in a very short time, his heartbeat was rapid and he had what she called a mammoth murmur. All this on top of the creeping senility which was making him forget where things were - and worse, starting to fear inanimate objects like carpeting on stairs and certain toys. While we didn't feel it was time to lose him, Mother Nature had other ideas and she was calling all the shots.

I have never had to do anything like this before in my life. In fact, I've long been an advocate of letting a pets little clock tick down on it's own. Barring pain of course. If they were suffering then that had to be stopped. As we walked into the vets office I had flash back's of the tiny kitten he was and how happy we were to have saved his life. And now here we were all these years later about to take his life from him. When we talk about justice in life, so many times I have to ask where?
So hard!

Physically, Bailey was fine. To all outward appearances he looked the picture of health! He had so much energy and liked to do all the things he's always done. There were seemingly no changes except for the disease that was stealing his mind.

Bailey had also been through so much with us. Two cross country moves riding shotgun with us in the suv and not a complaint out of him. He was a trooper that's for sure. He provided more than a few laughs over the years too... He loved Xmas...the gifties from his own stocking, the little treat of egg nog on Xmas Eve and some turkey and gravy Xmas Day. How empty those days will feel now, even tho' we have our other boys, there is that upstart Bailey hole which will not be filled. Oh gawd this was so hard! It is hard now as I type with tears in my eyes and a painful lump in my throat.

I am not a religious person. I'm not sure I believe in afterlives or anything of that nature, but if there is one, I am hoping that Bailey is there and that there are lots of his favorite things. He loved to play with springs and little furry toy mice. He could amuse himself for hours with a little plastic curly thing. We were never at a loss of what to buy him...

I could reminisce for hours here but there are space and time restraints. Besides, I will continue to get sadder still and I need to start my healing process for my other little guys sakes. They are mystified too as to where both their brothers have gotten to.

Rest in peace Bailey. And if you've joined Jakey, go easy on him okay? =) We love you so much and will never forget you.